Its possible we've been at the beach too long...

Evidence submitted for consideration.

1. Ed and I have placed a hefty wager.  The bet is on who can hold out longer: trimming his beard or cutting my hair. Unless he goes latter day Brad Pitt style with ugly braids in his beard, in which case I will take care of it for him. In his sleep.  

2. We waited until we had almost nothing left to wear before dropping off our laundry on Sunday night. On Monday we didn't pick it up before closing because we didn't want to miss the sunset. Koh Lanta is 96% Muslim and the following day was Eid al-Adha. The stray dogs howled along to the pre-dawn call to prayer, and we were roused several hours before our usual wake up, so we felt we had sufficiently participated. Point being, the laundry was closed as a result, so we just wore bathing suits all day and out to dinner. Finally yesterday I made the pilgrimage to the main road to collect our sunshine fresh threads, but we have yet to open the tidy, sealed bag that I retrieved. Hippies!

3.  While walking on the beach, I collected shells and filled my shirt pockets with them. Upon later examination, I decided that one was particularly special. Using a leatherman and some string given to me by a Buddhist shop owner in Beijing, I made this necklace.

4. I ask at least once a day whether its Wednesday (I'm right 1 in 7). And this evening had to ask Ed when the last time I showered was.

5. The proprietor of our bungalow home invited me to go to market with her tomorrow to buy dragon fruit for afternoon snack. 

6. My blog posts have become lists because I can't tell a cohesive story that has, like, paragraphs.

After a quick reread of the above, perhaps I've been hasty. Maybe we haven't been at the beach long enough?

Hamburg, Thailand

Running across German tourists anywhere on earth is unsurprising.  I believe the term "wanderlust" is from the original German.  These folks are everywhere.

Add to the globetrotting culture the direct flights from Europe to Krabi (the launch point for many island ferries) and you have a veritable Novemberfest.  Hours on end pass without us hearing a word of Thai spoken; there are Thai people around but they tend to be soft spoken and haven't been sucking down Singhas since sunrise.

We occasionally have to remind ourselves that we are, indeed, in Thailand.  For Ed this means ordering (another) atomically spicy papaya salad.  For moi, an equally brutal/addictive sensory experience: more Thai massage.  I bring this up to say that there are a worthy lessons to be learned from our Deutsche beachgoers in just 3 short days.  FYI.

- Fear not, trashy Americanas.  Some of you regret the tramp stamp you had inked on spring break to Nassau but, alas, this is a perfect inky complement to a triangle bikini if you are a Germany lady between the ages of 20-45.
- The beach is an EXCELLENT place to bring very small children on a family holiday.  During the day, toddlers are free to explore their fear of surf as they bound into neck-deep white caps unattended.  Or, while Ma & Pa sit at the beach bar, the tykes can choose to nap it out in their stroller.  Which will be parked safely out of sight of grown ups alongside the driveway in a shady spot.
- If you are a German man over the age of 40 and you do not already have permanently tanned skin do not, under any circumstances, wear sunscreen.  Obviously turning the color of boiled crawfish will fool the Thai waitresses into thinking you've got a bitchin' tan. 
- Although running or competitive walking is a mandatory bullet on the daily agenda, don't bother bringing athletic gear.  If you're a middle aged woman, just wear your underpants to exercise on the beach.  No one will even notice.
- When you observe someone snapping a pic and feel that you are the superior photographer, by all means take that person aside and instruct them on how to capture the shot you just took.
- Doing yoga in a bikini in front of a crowded beach bar is meditative.  Its not a performance, and its certainly not indicative of daddy issues.  Obviously.

All of that said, I'll take these folks over the Jersey Shore crew any day.  At least we can't understand what they're saying.  And, we end each day with this.  Solid.

The Atlanta to Koh Lanta

The day went like this.

6:30 a.m. alarm => taxi => plane => minivan => ferry => minivan => ferry => minivan

But then:

Korea wrap up

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't at least fill you in a little on our last couple of weeks in Korea.  In all, we ended up staying in Korea for one month & 2 days, and I really really really think everyone should go there.  I saw a T-shirt in a souvenir store that read "Korea: Asia's Best Kept Secret," and I can't say how true that is.  I've never known someone to go just to go, but everyone should go, because its gd awesome and, like, the most civilized country on earth.

Our Korea loop, in the end, went like this Seoul -> Sokcho -> Samcheok -> Andong -> Gyeongju -> Busan -> Seoul.  Gyeongju was, by far, the historical highlight of the trip.  Its often referred to as an "open air museum," which I insisted on saying to Ed in my best wine aficionado voice.  Like, it "open air museum, its really earthy but with a nutty finish."  I think its funnier when you hear it spoken.

Anywho, Gyeongju was the capital of the Shilla dynasty which means there are shitload of rulers buried there.  Fun fact: when kings were entombed back in the day, a pre-selected group of virgins would be lead into the tomb at burial time.  Lucky for them, they were given knives so that once the final brick was in place and they were, in essence, buried alive they could off themselves.  Same rules for the servants and the royal guard.  It must have been crowded in there, but we wouldn't want the king getting lonely in the afterlife.  So, these tombs are huge, perfect, mounds sprinkled throughout the city.  Some are in parks, some in the mountains, some right in the downtown next to a row of ice cream shops.  I called them grass boobs and was originally underwhelmed.  But then wizened owl Ed made this sterling observation: what is amazing about these grass boobs is that in the time they were built, people weren't creating monuments of stone or brick.  They used what they had available, which was dirt.  And using their hands and dirt and engineering, they made something perfectly round and really tall in tribute.  Which is kind of rad. 

Bulguksa Temple is another fascinating and beautiful site to visit in Gyeongju. We've been to a lot of temples.  In China we were palace'd out but in Korea, we were temple'd out.  That said, this one was probably the most impressive that we visited.  Like all beautiful things in Asia, it was burned to the ground by another Asian nation (this time Japan) and they've been working on the restoration ever since.  Its also a Unesco World Heritage site which, if you come to Asia, is a huge freaking deal.  Everybody is all Unesco this, World Heritage that.  Its like they EGOT'd. 

The highlight of Gyeongju for me, though, was a hike up Mt. Namsan.  Along the trails there are huge stone Buddha carvings, tiny ancient temples, pagodas, religious relics and more grass boobs all the way to the summit.  This allowed us to learn and sweat and be spiritual all at once.  Just an awesome, perfect day.  Incidentally, followed by one of my favorite Korean meals of the trip. 

We're now in Shanghai which is totally awesome because my friend Allison is here!  But, we haven't yet quite re-acclimated to the honking and spitting and yelling and general chaos.  Korea was like the nerdy, tidy Uncle you like to visit at his house in the Catskills.  He makes organic Chicken for dinner and reads Proust by the fire and you admire him, but don't really see the resemblance.  China is like your sloppy kid brother.  You love him, but you know that a weekend with him is going to be noisy and, inevitably, involve vomit.  

 

Ding ding ding, here comes the graphing mobile!

Once in a while, I feel I need to represent my thoughts pictorially and flex my dusty work muscles. Thus, a Venn Diagram to illustrate observations of accommodations in Korea.
The prevalence of love motels is what makes Korea an easy and affordable place to travel. They are well located, don't require reservations, clean, cheap, and available in every town. What's hard to wrap my head around is why it is seemingly so embarrassing to stay in one. Privacy curtains over the entrance to the parking garage ensure that, from the street, you can only see patrons from the waist down. Check in is through a tiny window (sometimes of black plexiglass) so the proprietor can't see you. To check out, one leaves the key in a box mounted in the elevator, again minimizing human contact. I'm not complaining; the last 2 nights of our Korea loop, we stayed here for $40/night:

What I'm saying though, is this. The tourist hotel located next door to the love motel charges 3X as much for similar or lesser amenities. The love motels are, apparently, somewhat shameful places to bunk up. Why doesn't an enterprising Korean start the low-end hotel, charging love motel prices but allowing the local patrons to feel respectable-like all at once? It's pretty easy, guys, just build a love motel but block the porn channels, don't offer day rates, and viola – you're a hotelier! Y'all make Hyundai's for god's sake, you can figure this out.

Here comes the story of the hurricane...

There is currently a typhoon headed toward SK.  Not a mighty, scary, model-stuck-in-a-tree-in-Thailand-because-of-the-resulting-tsunami typhoon, but a typhoon all the same.  My vision of us on the rocky west coast of Korea for our last few days before we return to Seoul has thusly been shattered.  We weren't sure exactly where we were headed, but now it definitely isn't West.

We just got up and moving and I'm thinking we'll go to Busan, which is just an hour South of here and not in the direct path of the storm.  The weather will probably be crap, but if we can find a motel with a view of the ocean, I might not even care.  A balcony would pretty much ensure my happiness for the next 48 hours.

So, I'm going to go and figure out how to get us there.  Also, pick up some Rumourpang which is an unnaturelly  addictive Korean chain food.  What they do, you see, is  make these coffee-ish flavored buns that are about the size of your head and the consistency of a crossaint.  I imagine there is at least one crack-like ingredient because I literally wake up thinking about these buns. 

Gotta go.  Buns!

Naksan Beach!

Because I'm neurotic and a recovering perfectionist, I've put us on a strict regimen of beach visits in the region to ensure that we conduct a full double blind study (5 point scale based on size of swimming area, sand, water temperature and cleanliness, proximity to delicious snacks, jackedness of lifeguards - not because of attraction but sheer awe at the lack of bodyfat - and commutability) so that we can visit that one the most. 

We've been to 4 beaches and today was by far the supremest - Naksan Beach has the right mix of solitude but with enough people to scare off the jellyfish and distract the lifeguards so I can swim past the barrier into deeper water.

Today, unfortch, I was a bit cavalier with the application of sunscreen on my lower half.  The sunburn on my assal region combined with the unreal muscle soreness from yesterday's grueling death march has me staggering and cursing my way up the stairs of our hostel like a drunken 90 year old sailor. 

The beach was amazing, though, and I can't wait to lay on it again.  Ed is threatening to make me wear his pajama pants if we go back tomorrow to ensure I don't inflict any further damage to my trunk.  I'm weighing these options. 

Sokcho, South Korea

We're in Sokcho, which is a beachy fishing town on the east coast of S. Korea, real close to the 38th parallel.  This is a popular tourist destination for Koreans and Japanese beach goers and also a good launch pad for visiting the DMZ, which we're probably not going to do because there are, like, 10 amazing beaches within a bus ride and the area is known primarily for raw fish.  So, educational day trips are just going to have to take a back seat for the moment.

Today was a gorgeous and perfectly sunny day for our first visit to Sokcho beach.  The Koreans could learn us a few things about beach going.  For example:

- Rather than umbrellas, you rent a big metal and canvass wall that bends in the middle and is propped up by a metal pole.  This provides a huge rectangle of shade and never blows away.  Best.
 - Favored Korean beach snack: hot dog on a stick covered in French Fries.  I had been looking forward to this since we got off the bus on Sunday (I pretty much talked about it all the way from Seoul) and it did not disappoint.  I guess, really, how could it?  Its a hot dog.  And french fries.  On a stick. 
 - People do NOT end their beach day at 5 p.m. to go home and shower and nap before cocktails and this I particularly enjoy.  Why? Because being at the beach is my favorite thing on earth and I would stay there till dark if given the option.  I feel vindicated when, at 6:30, my Korean brethren are just settling in with a bucket of chicken (not kidding) and big beers.  They're probably still there now.  Stay strong, guys.

Um, so onto a couple of really minor points of feedback that I'd probably share for the overall improvement of the beach experience for the local visitors. 

- Science has given us a miraculous lotion that effectively combats UV rays.  Its called sunscreen and can be purchased at the Family Mart across the street from here.  So while I appreciate that modesty dictates y'all aren't going to be wearing thongs and banana hammocks, jeans with hoodies aren't really appropriate swimwear.  We saw dozens of people in long pants or sleeves or both, with hats or hoods or both, in the Pacific today.  Maybe just SPF it up and leave the socks (true story) on shore.

- I realize that a lot of folks around here aren't terribly comfortable in the water.  And, while an inflatable tube/raft/swimmy is a sensible precaution, I feel you guys might be overdoing it.  The roped off swim area at the beach ensures that if you are over 4 ft. 6, you can touch the bottom with your entire head above water even at the highest of tides.  The life vest in concert with a flotation device and a loud shriek every time a 6 inch wave rolls in just feels campy.  Maybe reign it in a drop.

Otherwise good times.  And really enjoyed the lack of open container laws.

See you tomorrow.