Hamburg, Thailand

Running across German tourists anywhere on earth is unsurprising.  I believe the term "wanderlust" is from the original German.  These folks are everywhere.

Add to the globetrotting culture the direct flights from Europe to Krabi (the launch point for many island ferries) and you have a veritable Novemberfest.  Hours on end pass without us hearing a word of Thai spoken; there are Thai people around but they tend to be soft spoken and haven't been sucking down Singhas since sunrise.

We occasionally have to remind ourselves that we are, indeed, in Thailand.  For Ed this means ordering (another) atomically spicy papaya salad.  For moi, an equally brutal/addictive sensory experience: more Thai massage.  I bring this up to say that there are a worthy lessons to be learned from our Deutsche beachgoers in just 3 short days.  FYI.

- Fear not, trashy Americanas.  Some of you regret the tramp stamp you had inked on spring break to Nassau but, alas, this is a perfect inky complement to a triangle bikini if you are a Germany lady between the ages of 20-45.
- The beach is an EXCELLENT place to bring very small children on a family holiday.  During the day, toddlers are free to explore their fear of surf as they bound into neck-deep white caps unattended.  Or, while Ma & Pa sit at the beach bar, the tykes can choose to nap it out in their stroller.  Which will be parked safely out of sight of grown ups alongside the driveway in a shady spot.
- If you are a German man over the age of 40 and you do not already have permanently tanned skin do not, under any circumstances, wear sunscreen.  Obviously turning the color of boiled crawfish will fool the Thai waitresses into thinking you've got a bitchin' tan. 
- Although running or competitive walking is a mandatory bullet on the daily agenda, don't bother bringing athletic gear.  If you're a middle aged woman, just wear your underpants to exercise on the beach.  No one will even notice.
- When you observe someone snapping a pic and feel that you are the superior photographer, by all means take that person aside and instruct them on how to capture the shot you just took.
- Doing yoga in a bikini in front of a crowded beach bar is meditative.  Its not a performance, and its certainly not indicative of daddy issues.  Obviously.

All of that said, I'll take these folks over the Jersey Shore crew any day.  At least we can't understand what they're saying.  And, we end each day with this.  Solid.