If you like lines...

You will LOVE the Shanghai World Expo 2010! 

A line for the bus, then for ticket pickup, security, food, country pavilions (these stretched up to 6 hours), and, of course, bathrooms.  I'm not an amusement park goer but I think our experience at the Expo must have been similar, line-wise. But, when you get to the front of an Expo line you don't get to go on a roller coaster or meet Mickey.  Instead, you're herded into a giant building to watch a movie presentation that is most akin to a Fortune 500 company's brand video.  I felt like I was at new hire orientation for Australia.  I'm not sure what my job is supposed to be, but I think it has to do with surfing, earth movers and kangaroos. 

During our overpriced and barely edible lunch in the "gourmet pavilion," Ed and I tried to remember how we had decided to come to the Expo in the first place.  We blame advertising, incidentally.  But, for all the heat and the lines and the unbelievable crap inside the pavilions, it was maybe worth going.  Here are my hot tips if anyone out there decides to:

- Go late in the day.  Around 5 pm there is a parade (more on this later) and a seeming lull in the frenzy.  Its before the night ticket holders arrive, and the folks who got in line for tickets to the China pavilion at 3 am (seriously) have called it quits. 
- Don't wait in line for any pavilion.  The architecture is the most impressive aspect, indoor is lamezone.  That said, going into the pavilions of the countries that are broke (Iraq, Nigeria, Laos) can be interesting in a sad way.  Nigeria had straw sandals on display.  Laos gave away dixie cups of coffee.  Single tear.
- The terrace at the Spain pavilion sells $2 beers and has no line.  We joked that if we were in New York, the 5 hour wait would be to get into the bar instead of Spain's exhibition.  Fortunately for us, it was the reverse.
- Maybe skip Asia.  The lines for South Korea and Japan are the longest and the whole area is hard to get around and really spread out.  Since China's pavilion is nine times the size of any of the others and smack in the center, it serves as a major obstacle to get around if you want to see anything else in the Asia zone.
- Europe is pretty, especially at night.  We thought the Netherlands had the best pavilion of all.  Somebody's highdea, perhaps.
- About 95% of the visitors to the Expo are Chinese.  They do not give a shit about Africa or most of South America.  So if you do and want to get inside a building, go to those regions.
- People say you can skip the line of your home country if you have your passport.  We were told at the USA pavilion that this isn't their "policy" but then were let under the rope anyway, so its worth a shot.

Seemingly the hocking of merch was China's primary motivation for hosting the Expo.  So, if you really want T-shirts with the little blue guy that I'm CERTAIN is a trademark infringement (um, hi, gumby?) you'll score easy.  Lines and T-shirts, T-shirst and lines. 

Shanghai: I see White people

We've been in Shanghai for a bunch of days seeing the sites and hanging with our visitors!  My good buddy Allison and her friend Kristy met us here and its been a blast.  The four of us did the heavy tourism lifting fast and early.  After checking off the Lonely Planet Top 10, we were able to get down to the good stuff: beer & acrobats, soup dumplings & massage.   

Here's the rundown:
Yuyuan Gardens & Old Town - Yes, the architecture is fantastic.  Yes, the temples are huge and insane and amazing and more beautiful even than the Forbidden City.  But.  Its way overly touristy in a horrible Chinatown way, hawkers are pretty sure that you will buy a bagwatchrolexgucciprada if they follow you down the street repeating themselves (the word "no" is merely an invitation).  At street level of the restored buildings you can find DQ, KFC, and Starbucks.  I mean, I'm not saying we didn't get blizzards and iced coffee.  I'm just saying.  

The Bund - As recently as this morning we were trying to decide what, exactly, the Bund encompasses.  Its an area along the Huangpu river with imposing, gorgeous deco architecture and windy streets.  Its lovely and impressive and like olden times except for all the people with SLR cameras.  There are huge shopping streets and a million restaurants drawing tourists and locals alike.  Funnily, we felt like we could easily have been strolling the Thames or the Seine, save for the fact that one looks across the river at this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Shanghaiviewpic1.jpg

French Concession & Xintiandi - I know it couldn't be more cliched than if I told you about Paris in the springtime, but we loved wandering the tree-lined streets of the French Concession.  There is just a whiff of old time Shanghai expat glamor once you're off the main drag, particularly in the far west of the neighborhood.  The streets get dark and leafy and sparkly restaurants are tucked into courtyards.  Its French, but exoticer, and the better for it.   

Oh, also, we got a little drunk and saw an acrobat show.  This was enthralling and worthwhile.  Had the show taken place in the US, a not insignificant number of child labor laws would have been broken.  But since we're in China, the land of tiny circus freaks, good times for us. 

Kristy headed back a couple of days ago, so its just been the 3 of us roaming.  Having Allison around has reminded me how much I miss her, and all of my Bro Nameths back home.  Sharing our trip with Allison has made this portion extra special and given us someone to talk to (besides each other) about everything we've done and seen so far.  Also, she's been a real trooper on our robust eating schedule, happily attending second lunch and sucking the soup out of dumplings like a champ.   

The only bummer about Shanghai is the sheer number of foreigners.  The architecturally and historically interesting neighborhoods are also chock full of tourists and expats.  I guess we're only adding to those numbers, and probably all those people are just as unhappy to see our Western mugs as we are theirs.  But when we've gotten off the beaten path, gone to random stops on the metro, explored non-guide book neighborhoods, we mostly run into residential areas. 

I shouldn't be such a snob, but we want the authentic Shanghai experience.  Could the Western folks just step off stage for a few more days and cue the local extras?  That'd be terrific. 

Korea wrap up

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't at least fill you in a little on our last couple of weeks in Korea.  In all, we ended up staying in Korea for one month & 2 days, and I really really really think everyone should go there.  I saw a T-shirt in a souvenir store that read "Korea: Asia's Best Kept Secret," and I can't say how true that is.  I've never known someone to go just to go, but everyone should go, because its gd awesome and, like, the most civilized country on earth.

Our Korea loop, in the end, went like this Seoul -> Sokcho -> Samcheok -> Andong -> Gyeongju -> Busan -> Seoul.  Gyeongju was, by far, the historical highlight of the trip.  Its often referred to as an "open air museum," which I insisted on saying to Ed in my best wine aficionado voice.  Like, it "open air museum, its really earthy but with a nutty finish."  I think its funnier when you hear it spoken.

Anywho, Gyeongju was the capital of the Shilla dynasty which means there are shitload of rulers buried there.  Fun fact: when kings were entombed back in the day, a pre-selected group of virgins would be lead into the tomb at burial time.  Lucky for them, they were given knives so that once the final brick was in place and they were, in essence, buried alive they could off themselves.  Same rules for the servants and the royal guard.  It must have been crowded in there, but we wouldn't want the king getting lonely in the afterlife.  So, these tombs are huge, perfect, mounds sprinkled throughout the city.  Some are in parks, some in the mountains, some right in the downtown next to a row of ice cream shops.  I called them grass boobs and was originally underwhelmed.  But then wizened owl Ed made this sterling observation: what is amazing about these grass boobs is that in the time they were built, people weren't creating monuments of stone or brick.  They used what they had available, which was dirt.  And using their hands and dirt and engineering, they made something perfectly round and really tall in tribute.  Which is kind of rad. 

Bulguksa Temple is another fascinating and beautiful site to visit in Gyeongju. We've been to a lot of temples.  In China we were palace'd out but in Korea, we were temple'd out.  That said, this one was probably the most impressive that we visited.  Like all beautiful things in Asia, it was burned to the ground by another Asian nation (this time Japan) and they've been working on the restoration ever since.  Its also a Unesco World Heritage site which, if you come to Asia, is a huge freaking deal.  Everybody is all Unesco this, World Heritage that.  Its like they EGOT'd. 

The highlight of Gyeongju for me, though, was a hike up Mt. Namsan.  Along the trails there are huge stone Buddha carvings, tiny ancient temples, pagodas, religious relics and more grass boobs all the way to the summit.  This allowed us to learn and sweat and be spiritual all at once.  Just an awesome, perfect day.  Incidentally, followed by one of my favorite Korean meals of the trip. 

We're now in Shanghai which is totally awesome because my friend Allison is here!  But, we haven't yet quite re-acclimated to the honking and spitting and yelling and general chaos.  Korea was like the nerdy, tidy Uncle you like to visit at his house in the Catskills.  He makes organic Chicken for dinner and reads Proust by the fire and you admire him, but don't really see the resemblance.  China is like your sloppy kid brother.  You love him, but you know that a weekend with him is going to be noisy and, inevitably, involve vomit.  

 

Ding ding ding, here comes the graphing mobile!

Once in a while, I feel I need to represent my thoughts pictorially and flex my dusty work muscles. Thus, a Venn Diagram to illustrate observations of accommodations in Korea.
The prevalence of love motels is what makes Korea an easy and affordable place to travel. They are well located, don't require reservations, clean, cheap, and available in every town. What's hard to wrap my head around is why it is seemingly so embarrassing to stay in one. Privacy curtains over the entrance to the parking garage ensure that, from the street, you can only see patrons from the waist down. Check in is through a tiny window (sometimes of black plexiglass) so the proprietor can't see you. To check out, one leaves the key in a box mounted in the elevator, again minimizing human contact. I'm not complaining; the last 2 nights of our Korea loop, we stayed here for $40/night:

What I'm saying though, is this. The tourist hotel located next door to the love motel charges 3X as much for similar or lesser amenities. The love motels are, apparently, somewhat shameful places to bunk up. Why doesn't an enterprising Korean start the low-end hotel, charging love motel prices but allowing the local patrons to feel respectable-like all at once? It's pretty easy, guys, just build a love motel but block the porn channels, don't offer day rates, and viola – you're a hotelier! Y'all make Hyundai's for god's sake, you can figure this out.

Andong da dong dong dong

After the penis park, we went to Andong, which took a while to get to but was totally worthwhile. Andong is famous for historical stuff and also for Soju & cows. We got right into it our first night with an exceptional Andong beef dinner and several rounds of Soju. The next day was pretty quiet, except for a trip to Lotteria for burgers with Thousand Sauce and a screening of “Journey to the Center of the Earth” starring Brendan Frasier (as a scientist). Yes, we watched the entire movie. Yes, we were that hungover.

The coolest thing we saw in Andong was the Hahoe Folk Village, which I called “the HEY-O village” all day. HEY-O sort of talk-yelled, like how Pacino would do. The village is made of traditional hanok houses like in olden times. The locals are descendents of the Yu clan who built it in the 16th century and they still farm and make traditional crafts and do folk mask dance. But also have huge plasma-screen TVs and really nice cars. We actually went to a performance of the mask dancing which featured grating horn music and old men shuffle-stepping around a pavillion in scary-ish wooden masks. Incidentally, Koreans love a drag show.  I know I'm really selling it here, but you have to understand our expectations were pretty high. Giant photos of these mask-performances are featured in every train and bus station on the Eastern seaboard; we thought the experience would be transporting, a jewel in Korea's cultural crown, but the whole thing was pretty lame-zone. 

Historical deets, for the nerds:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hahoe_Folk_Village

Oh, also at the HEY-O village, we were interviewed for Korean radio. I must say, the questions were pretty leading, like “which of the houses did you enjoy the most?” and “what most impressed you about the village?” This lady claimed to be a journalist (confirmed by her business card), but seemed more like a spokesperson for the Korean Board of Tourism. We did our part, 'oooing and ahhing' the villlage and the day. Remarkable, educational, interesting, beautiful, blahzay blah blah. We're on KBS, but haven't had the patience or the steady internet connection to find the interviews. Whatevs, we're famous.

travelin' reading list, part II

Korean cable is crap, we have 1 laptop, and we've all but stopped boozing, which means we both read a lot. In fact, I'm down to my last unread book and in need of recommendations. My favorites are always suggestions from friends, so please shoot me a mail or leave ideas for me in comments and you'll be my hero. You'll also be helping to not waste my terrible mind, keep me off the streets, idle hands, etc.

Here's some thoughts on the last batch...

The Ask: A Novel by Sam Lipsyte

I thought this book was going to be funny, but to me it was a bummer. The narrator is a schlumpy pessimist and reminds me too much of a narcissistic ex-boyfriend. The book is well written and Sam Lipsyte has an admiral vocabulary but, overall, is too up his own ass. That said, I really got some mileage out of the dictionary function on my Kindle and will be wowing you with shiny four-syllablers as soon as I learn how to use them in context. Flash cards, please.

Don't Get Too Comfortable by David Rakoff

Rakoff is one of my favorite NPR heads; his contributions to “This American Life” make any episode in which he appears a favorite. His writing is stellar but loses something for me when its not read aloud in his dry, elegant, ready for a v.o., voice. Plus, a collection of short stories has to be kind of miraculous to win my affection. I'm lazy during the courting stage of a book and often find the set-up a total drag. Once I'm through that bit and committed, I'd prefer that the tale goes on and on so that I don't have to start over. With short form, I usually feel like it ends just as I'm immersing. That said, there is a quote in this book about Karl Lagerfeld that I reread 12 times; it was spot on and mean-spirited and David Rakoff-perfect.

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski

This was a recommendation from my friend Aileen, who never steers me wrong, but often recommends mandatory crying books. (see: Eleni, The Glass Castle, Case Histories, I could go on...) Edgar Sawtelle also brought the requisite tears, but holy shit is this a terrific book. I tip my hat to anyone who can write an engaging and cohesive novel that includes a mute protagonist, a cast of dogs with developed and unique personalities and believable mysticism/ghost stuff. I enjoyed reading this book tremendously and when I finished said to Ed, “that, my friend, is how you write a book.” Read it, GO!

Spooner by Pete Dexter

I think I liked this book, but I'm still not sure. Its weird in a good, almost cartoonish way. I felt the same ambivalence when I finished "Confederacy of Dunces," so, you know...  There are some very funny bits and some tragically sad moments. If someone else reads it, let me know what you think. I loved the ending and that might be coloring my overall impression. But, maybe its great? Undecided.

The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde

I don't love reading plays, but I do love Oscar Wilde. Always.

Here comes the story of the hurricane...

There is currently a typhoon headed toward SK.  Not a mighty, scary, model-stuck-in-a-tree-in-Thailand-because-of-the-resulting-tsunami typhoon, but a typhoon all the same.  My vision of us on the rocky west coast of Korea for our last few days before we return to Seoul has thusly been shattered.  We weren't sure exactly where we were headed, but now it definitely isn't West.

We just got up and moving and I'm thinking we'll go to Busan, which is just an hour South of here and not in the direct path of the storm.  The weather will probably be crap, but if we can find a motel with a view of the ocean, I might not even care.  A balcony would pretty much ensure my happiness for the next 48 hours.

So, I'm going to go and figure out how to get us there.  Also, pick up some Rumourpang which is an unnaturelly  addictive Korean chain food.  What they do, you see, is  make these coffee-ish flavored buns that are about the size of your head and the consistency of a crossaint.  I imagine there is at least one crack-like ingredient because I literally wake up thinking about these buns. 

Gotta go.  Buns!