America, brought to you by Corporate America

There were a couple of aspects of the World Expo that were super strange to us.  The American pavilion and the Chinese pavilion are about as far away from one another as possible within the grounds.  Also, the American pavilion is in the back corner of the area, making it a bit remote.  We're pretty sure this wasn't accidental.

The magic begins when we step inside and the introduction room is plastered with logos of Corporate sponsors.  An introductory film is played in which folks on the street in DC are filmed trying to say "Welcome to China" in Mandarin.  It doesn't go that well. 

As we pass into the next giant movie theater, Pfizer thanks us for not smoking. Then we watch a film where kids teach us how to save the earth (make a cloud plane that doesn't use gasoline!) and CMOs from the sponsoring firms (Chevron, GE, PepsiCo) emote; the children are our future, the environment is a critical issue.  Then cameos by such American celebrities as Tony Hawk and Marlee Matlin (she's deaf! we're diverse!), interspersed with academic interviews from professors at the University of Washington (sponsor).

We're herded into a third theater where we watch a film about a kid who dreams of turning a cement lot in her ghetto neighborhood into an urban garden and paints a picture of her vision.  She shops this around and makes some progress.  Her luck turns.  At one point it seems that a thunderstorm, flaky neighbors, and bullies will sabotage the whole project.  But when our protagonist, in desperation and pouring rain, holds her painting overhead and looks skyward over dramatic guitar music, the garden is saved.  She awakes to find it fully planted, vandals spray-painting a rainbow mural on the wall.  I think we're to assume that a higher power is responsible...

Now, imagine you're Chinese.  You don't speak English and your government isn't letting you pop over to the USA for a visit anytime soon.  Your internet access is highly censored and western TV & movies aren't broadcast.  What you see at the world expo might inform your opinion of the US disproportionately.  And what you might take away from your visit is that Americans really like sitting in dark theaters, can't and won't try to speak Chinese, and don't flush a toilet that isn't paid for by a major corporation. 

Also, the building looks like an airport terminal.  Citibank thanks you for visiting.  That is all.

If you like lines...

You will LOVE the Shanghai World Expo 2010! 

A line for the bus, then for ticket pickup, security, food, country pavilions (these stretched up to 6 hours), and, of course, bathrooms.  I'm not an amusement park goer but I think our experience at the Expo must have been similar, line-wise. But, when you get to the front of an Expo line you don't get to go on a roller coaster or meet Mickey.  Instead, you're herded into a giant building to watch a movie presentation that is most akin to a Fortune 500 company's brand video.  I felt like I was at new hire orientation for Australia.  I'm not sure what my job is supposed to be, but I think it has to do with surfing, earth movers and kangaroos. 

During our overpriced and barely edible lunch in the "gourmet pavilion," Ed and I tried to remember how we had decided to come to the Expo in the first place.  We blame advertising, incidentally.  But, for all the heat and the lines and the unbelievable crap inside the pavilions, it was maybe worth going.  Here are my hot tips if anyone out there decides to:

- Go late in the day.  Around 5 pm there is a parade (more on this later) and a seeming lull in the frenzy.  Its before the night ticket holders arrive, and the folks who got in line for tickets to the China pavilion at 3 am (seriously) have called it quits. 
- Don't wait in line for any pavilion.  The architecture is the most impressive aspect, indoor is lamezone.  That said, going into the pavilions of the countries that are broke (Iraq, Nigeria, Laos) can be interesting in a sad way.  Nigeria had straw sandals on display.  Laos gave away dixie cups of coffee.  Single tear.
- The terrace at the Spain pavilion sells $2 beers and has no line.  We joked that if we were in New York, the 5 hour wait would be to get into the bar instead of Spain's exhibition.  Fortunately for us, it was the reverse.
- Maybe skip Asia.  The lines for South Korea and Japan are the longest and the whole area is hard to get around and really spread out.  Since China's pavilion is nine times the size of any of the others and smack in the center, it serves as a major obstacle to get around if you want to see anything else in the Asia zone.
- Europe is pretty, especially at night.  We thought the Netherlands had the best pavilion of all.  Somebody's highdea, perhaps.
- About 95% of the visitors to the Expo are Chinese.  They do not give a shit about Africa or most of South America.  So if you do and want to get inside a building, go to those regions.
- People say you can skip the line of your home country if you have your passport.  We were told at the USA pavilion that this isn't their "policy" but then were let under the rope anyway, so its worth a shot.

Seemingly the hocking of merch was China's primary motivation for hosting the Expo.  So, if you really want T-shirts with the little blue guy that I'm CERTAIN is a trademark infringement (um, hi, gumby?) you'll score easy.  Lines and T-shirts, T-shirst and lines.